He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
