Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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