Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
