Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
