life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
