I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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