never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
