I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
