Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
