If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
