I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
