i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Randomize
