Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Randomize