babies were throwing up all over the place
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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