My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
