I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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