Apparently you make a good broom.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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