You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Only a mothe r could love this liver
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
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