We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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