How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
