Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
We're facebook friends in real life
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
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