Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Randomize
