last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I have aggressive nipples.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
