Already got asked if we're dating
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
