Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
