I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
