i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
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And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
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there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one