East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
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Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
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Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it