i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.