Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.