dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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