Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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