Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
