just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
