how can u be prego again
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I could make wine with my vomit
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
