i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
