You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
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I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
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Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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