ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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