every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Randomize
