Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
