how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
You smell like stripper and shame
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
