So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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