wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
