All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
