TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
