you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
