Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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