i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
She bit a glass in half.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
