he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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