? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
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