Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
