she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
