omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
