Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
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