dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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