Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Randomize