my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize