i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
my poor anus
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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