White coat. Heels.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
