Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
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He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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