I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize