i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
wow bdsm is so cute
Randomize
