There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
Randomize
