Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Randomize
