Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
