Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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