am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
His nipple licking is glorious
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