At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
