Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
