i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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